Thinking Paper #30 – Does corruption make policemen better?

By Tim Massingberd-James

Abstract

Since the police began, some of them have probably been corrupt. The odd bribe is probably par for the course and most of them probably spend their weekends riding on the yachts of rich criminal overlords and staying for free at Champneys, but do the public think corruption makes them better or worse at their jobs?


The Met

John Yates and Sir Paul Stephenson, the Deputy and Chief Commissioners of the Met announced their resignation over the last couple of days, for reasons probably either related or unrelated to corruption in the force, or for buying a copy of the News of the World, or sleeping with Rebekah Brooks or something.

Research

Recent ficticious research by the IIPBA showed that 98% of the great British public would prefer police to be corrupt if it means more 'bobbies on the beat' (too far, too fast), and have watched enough films to know that corruption in the police is par for the course. 68% of respondents expressed 'extreme dissapointment' when they were told that recent resignations were something to do with Chris Bryant's voicemails, and 96% were a little bit sick in their mouths when it was revealed that one of John Prescott's voicemails was a dirty message from the fat oaf intended for long-suffering wife Pauline.

Conclusion

All police should be corrupt. It makes better national scandals. That sells more papers. Or something.