Fridays Thinking Points

Friday's thinking points for your thoughts. Have a nice weekend etc.

• Oliver Letwin has been found "unlawful" this week by his arch-nemesis, the Information Commissioner. The IIPBA stands steadfastly by its leader. Long live the Letwin.

• David Cameron met with Angela Merkel 1,000 times this week in an attempt to reduce "tensions". According to sources, a prolonged session of mutual foot massaging was said to help. This resulted in a joint announcement from the two world leaders stating that the European project was back on track until next week.

• Sepp Blatter staked his claim for the title of "the new Silvio Berlusconi" this week by saying that racism is ok during a football match as long as you shake hands at the end. He followed this up with the always brilliant line, "I'm not racist, some of my best friends are black". Ha. His next statement, due out next week, is said to focus on how donkey punching a child is fine, as long as you buy said child some Haribo.

• Northern Rock is set to become really sexy under new boss Richard Branson. Expect adverts featuring women with geordie accents dressed all sexy in banking outfits. Hot tip - Cheryl Cole doesn't do much these days.

• Francis Maude becomes the latest in a long line of morons to suggest that a paperless government is realistic. Then he says something about ipads and takes a few days off.