Thinking Paper #193: Eric Pickles watch‏

By Ron Ford Golightly

Abstract

Eric "the pickler" Pickles of Pickering said something today. He said that more civil servants should work from home in order to save the taxpayer £300 trillion quid. Old Franny Maude welcomed the idea and shouted "taxpayers money" at the top of his voice. His sudden burst of energy startled a flock of pigeons who had nested in his hair, but he consoled himself with a nice cup of tea and a spot of cricket on the TV.

What the bloody hell is going on?

As Roger pointed out a long, long time ago, Eric Pickles is quite a fascinating man, primarily because his features form such a tiny part of his overall face. Anyway, he said that civil servants should be able to forward on emails from home instead of from expensive central government offices because this will stop them getting depressed and make them 100% happier.

What is working from home?

It's when you get to sleep in past 9am, have a nice leisurely breakfast over morning television, catch up with Philip Schofield's latest haircut and drink wine in the afternoon. It is usually sensible to send an email in the morning to let people back at the office know that you are awake, one at lunchtime to remind them that you are still there and then one at about 7pm so it looks like you're working infinitely longer hours than you actually are. It's dead easy, and Pickles thinks that it will improve productivity by 15% (whatever that means).

The IIPBA says hurrah for Pickles. We don't care what he says, we just like to see him on the old speaking box.